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Massive
I'm fat, I hear myself saying. I look in the mirror. My face has gone hot and red; I feel like I'm going to explode. I'm fat. It sizzles under my skin, puffing me up, pushing me out, making me massive.PWeight has always been a big issue in Carmen's life. How could it not? Her mom is obsessed with the idea that thin equals beautiful, thin equals successful, thin equals the way to get what you want. Carmen knows that as far as her mom is concerned, there is only one option: be thin.PWhen her mother sweeps her off to live in the city, Carmen finds that her old world is disappearing. As her life spirals out of control Carmen begins to take charge of the only thing she can -- what she eats. If she were thin, very thin, could it all be different?Grim, gritty, real.IMassive/iis an important, cautionary tale of the dangerous pairing of food and self-esteem. Thought provoking.P-- Deb Caletti, National Book Award finalistFor every girl who's fat or thin or in between,IMassive/iis terrific. Julia Bell's Carmen knows how it feels to want to scream but to grit your teeth instead.P-- Gail Giles, author ofIShattering Glass/iandIDead Girls Don't Write Letters./ifont size=+1Chapter One/fontPIf I was as big as her I'd kill myself, Mum says, pointing at a picture of Marilyn Monroe in her magazine.PI'm sitting at the kitchen table waiting for my toast to brown. If I don't watch it, it will burn. Mum always buysPlo-salt Danish bread that toasts really quickly, the kind that has more air in it than flour. On her new diet she's allowed two slices at breakfast, along with 1 ounce of Special K with skim milk.PYou'd tell me, wouldn't you? If I got that big?PI look at her, I can see her bones through her clothes.POf course, I lie.PShe watches me as I spread Gold Ultra Lite on my toast.PDon't use so much, Carmen.PMy name is Carmen because Mum likes to imagine that she's got Spanish blood in her. That and the fact that I bawled my |
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